The Daily Reminder - Day 16: Spiritual Health + Meditate

Meditation is something I have had to learn to love. I'll start there. :)You know that scene in Eat. Pray. Love. when Julia Roberts' character tries to meditate and has a million other thoughts going through her head?? Well. That's basically me when I try to sit still for any amount of time.But in the last 18 months, I have been intrigued by how powerful and accomplished I can feel when I am totally still. It sounds like an oxymoron, but feels like truth when it happens.You see, meditation isn't exactly as they showed it in the movie. By definition, meditation is simply focusing your mind on a specific thought or activity to put yourself into a state of mental clarity and emotional calmness. And when you stop to think about any moments you may have had in your life when you had that "aha" moment...isn't it awesome!?!? It's like some secret puzzle piece has fallen into place and all feels right with the world!

Meditation is basically actively finding the stillness to achieve mental clarity and emotional safety.

And there isn't anything about that feeling that isn't AWESOME!My plan is to find 15-20 minutes today to seek out stillness with my prayer wall (from yesterday!). I want to find one or two things on the prayer wall to meditate with. Remember, it is just focusing on those couple of things during a short time (or long time if you are great at it!) to achieve clarity and peace.Happy Meditating!Recap from Day 15I love my two sacred spaces. And I am truly excited to be spending more time in them these next few days. Just like anything else, I find myself going in waves of spending time in those spaces.Was anyone else able to create a little space for yourself yesterday?? Or have plans to do so soon? P.S. - Isn't the photo for today amazing!?!  Fancycrave from pexels.com really captured the essence of both a sacred space and meditation with this one.

The Daily Reminder - Day 15: Spiritual Health + Sacred Space

I listen to a lot of audiobooks. I love my local library's app, Overdrive, because it allows me to listen to all of the most amazing books for free!! Anyway, as I listen to these books I find inspiration in all kinds of ways. In fact, one book I read was the inspiration for today's focus.Within the last year or so, I read The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. For those of you who haven’t read it, the basic idea is that she walks you through a systematic way of minimizing your house to keep everything more organized. I really appreciated the methods of the book and made some awesome changes in my house (despite still having WAY too much stuff in my house). She has a unique was of getting you to purge certain things that I would recommend - particularly if you are someone who has been like, "Gosh - I have way to much stuff...but I am too overwhelmed to get started."Nevertheless, one thing in particular that I loved about that book was the recommendation to create a "sacred space." Initially, I thought..."Well shoot...at this point I don't do ANYTHING by myself." Every shower is interrupted, every stop in the bathroom.  There is no such thing as "sacred" space when four kids are around!But then, I really spent some time reflecting on what having a sacred space really meant. And for me, I currently have two spaces that I have created to be my "sacred spaces" (sorry - I guess I sorta cheated on this one...I already did today's focus - but found it so meaningful that I thought it should be the start of our week on spirituality).The first is a closet that I have re-purposed for my home office. It still looks very much like a closet, but I made it "sacred" by taking all sorts of things that I LOVE and put them on the walls all around me. Each piece that I put on the wall has deep meaning to me. Hence, the reason it is sacred!My other space is my prayer wall. We have those big, sliding mirrored doors for our master closet and on the back of those is the perfect surface for a wet-erase marker. When I feel like I need to have some time to myself, I close myself into either of those closets and am immediately reminded of the beauty of the things I have selected and find immediate peace, comfort, joy.

My challenge for you today is to find a small space in your home to create a sacred space all your own. It should be both meaningful and peaceful. When you arrive there and stay there, it should be calming and make you feel happiness.

And when you create that space, tell us about it! (I will share pictures of mine too!!)Recap from the week on Physical HealthOkay. So let's just say that I am still not great at focusing on my physical health. It appears to me now that I seem to struggle the most with finding balance within this area of my life. I will go several days or weeks doing really well, but then for whatever reason, I will "fall off the wagon" again.Let me be fair, I believe I am relatively healthy - I workout a couple times a week, most weeks, and eat a relatively healthy diet.I think if I really reflect on the struggles I still have it would be 1. staying consistent with a workout routine that doesn't interfere with other things - for instance, I LOVE the workout class at 5:30am, but then I am usually ready for bed at 9pm - leaving no time with my spouse.So I need to find a way to make a great workout routine work still. and 2. I am addicted to sugar. Wholeheartedly. Addicted. to. Sugar. I spend too much of my joy thinking about delicious, sugary foods. Sheesh...just thinking about the beautifully iced donut that my son had for breakfast at Grandma's house this morning makes my mouth water! Okay. So I am still a work in progress!Here's hoping spiritual health goes well for all of us!! photo cred pexels.com (Artem Bali)

The Daily Reminder - Day 13: Physical Health + Steps

The last several days, I have shared how much sitting on our backside all day negatively impacts our overall health. As we are moving into spiritual health next week, I want to incorporate a couple of things these last two days that lead us into that.Today, I want you to focus on increasing your steps in your everyday life. Even if you don't have a wearable tracker, there are simple things to do to increase your steps. For instance, park your car further away from the door when you go to the store today. Choose the gas pump that is at the end of the row and go inside to pay. Choose the stairs over the elevator. Basically, when given the opportunity, force yourself to walk more by deliberately NOT choosing the easiest path to get there.THEN. Take a "long" walk this evening. Have someone you love join you. Your spouse, your child, your dog. Just get out of the house and go on a walk before you lay down tonight.Let's get those steps in!Recap from Day 12With four kids and two jobs and a major home improvement project underway, standing hasn't really been the issue for me lately. I am always moving around the house. So I was awesome yesterday in the standing category!  My watch even told me I was awesome.  :)Honestly, I am feeling excited about the upcoming challenges about spiritual and emotional health next week and the week after. We have one more day where I am planning to have us focus on breathing and then move into spirituality. I can't wait!!

The Daily Reminder - Day 12: Physical Health + Stand

A couple of years ago, I received the Apple Watch as a gift. Initially, I was not convinced that I needed something so technologically advanced. And then, the stupid thing would buzz every hour, at 10 minutes to the hour.  "Time to stand up" it would say.  So sometimes I would listen to my watch and other times I would ignore it.Fast forward a few months later and one of the initiatives that my job offered was free Weight Talk nutrition coaching. Basically, each week, I had a 15-20 minute phone conversation with a nutritionist about my food choices, exercise, and weight goals. And one of the things my weight coach said was that recent research has been showing that sitting for long periods of time is SO bad for our bodies. She went on to tell me that if I worked out for 20 minutes a day, but then went long stretches of sitting (like more than an hour at a time), it basically leveled out any benefits I got from my workout. Now - I know any working out is better than not working out. I don't think that was her point. I think she was basically saying, if you come back home after a workout and eat donuts and cupcakes - it just eliminates the benefits of working out. Her point was to make the impression that being sedentary throughout the day after a workout is the opposite of what we should do.Today. Let's listen to our smart devices that are programmed to keep us moving. If you don't have a smart watch or tracker, just stand up for 2-5 minutes every hour. Walk around the house, the office, the neighborhood. Doesn't matter what you do while standing, just don't be sitting!Recap from Day 11I have a love/hate for stretching. My body always feels better when I stretch and I know this logically. But it always feels like I don't have time to step away to stretch. It is the most illogical thing. Truly. Who am I kidding? I have enough time to do whatever matters to me that day. That's how prioritizing works. What I keep realizing with this experiment is that I GET TO CHOOSE what my priority is that day.I get to choose. That's so powerful, isn't it?Ironically, yesterday I finished listening to Rachel Hollis' book, Girl, Wash Your Face on audiobook (Which I would highly recommend!). She says that she hopes if there is one major takeaway from her book it would be that we all realize we have the choice to change our lives. We have the choice to be happy or angry or joyous or successful. It honestly didn't even hit me until this moment how overlapping her message is with my continued reflections during this experiment.Thanks for reading and joining me in this experiment! Many of you have emailed or texted or mentioned to me that you have found these helpful. I am so, so thankful for you all!Let's keep going!photo cred pexels.com (Jaymantri)

The Daily Reminder - Day 11: Physical Health + Stretch

Our bodies are made for movement. Anyone else experience that feeling that when you get up, you imagine some places in your body that are sorta creaking back to life?? Or is that just me?? Maybe it's that I am "getting older." Or maybe it's that I grew and fed FOUR babies in this body. Either way, my body needs more intentional stretching of the big and small muscles. Everyday.For many of us, our jobs or leisure time are spent sitting. Sitting at a desk. Sitting on the couch. Sitting in a chair. Sitting. Sitting. Sitting.Y'all. I'm a therapist! My entire job is to just sit on my butt and talk with people. I am not sure there is a more sedentary job than a therapist. Now...if we were talking about having an active brain -- my job is awesome! But an active body... not so much.So today we will stretch. We will focus on stretching all the muscles in our bodies. My goal is to stretch 3 times today, for about 10 minutes each time. Feel free to do a yoga class or pilates class or your own version of stretching. Just get those bodies to be a little bit more limber!Recap from Day 10Okay. So I carry no shame in telling you that I did NOT even do yesterday's goal. I am realizing that on my 11-hour therapy days, I just don't really have the energy to focus on anything else. I came home, spent time with the kids at the pool and then was basically DONE. Sure. I could have gotten up early to get the workout in. Which I have done in the past. But yesterday. Well. Yesterday just wasn't that day. :)Despite having a job where I am sitting 96% of the time, doing good therapy is tiring. It should be. Folks are pouring their hearts out to me and I am honored to get to join them in pouring my support right on back to them. But doing that can be as tiring as running miles at a time.  Please hear me. I am NOT complaining about my job. I LOVE my job. I LOVE my clients. I am merely reflecting on reasons why those days are particularly challenging for me to get additional physically challenging work in.Perhaps you also have a job that is emotionally or physically draining and can relate. I imagine teachers having exhausting days, nearly everyday. I imagine the same is true for anyone with a job that requires physical labor. Whatever your case may be, I think the important message here is to reflect on what gets in the way of you meeting your physical health goals and determine a way to overcome.Although I am leading this charge, I want to admit to you that I didn't meet my goal yesterday, but I DID drink 100 ounces of water (again). And I did some really darn good therapy with some awesome clients. And I loved my kids and my husband. And well - that workout I planned will have to wait until today.I hope we all continue to push forward while having grace for days like yesterday. Shame has no place here. photo cred pexels.com (George Becker)

The Daily Reminder - Day 10: Physical Health + Exercise

Building muscle and doing cardio workouts are both crucial to physical health. So today, we will aim to do both!I am not going to put too many parameters on this because I know we all have a wide range of physical abilities. But, I think the main goal here should be to get both a strength workout in and a cardio workout in as well. Try to push yourself beyond where you have pushed in the past. If you have run 1 mile before - try to go 1.5. If you have done 10 pound weights for 15 reps, try 15 pounds.  I find that most days, if I am pushed a little harder, I work a little harder. If I go to workout on my own, I tend to get lazy. That's why I love challenges like this or classes where a trainer will push me beyond my comfort level.I hope you will see how much further you can push yourself today!Recap from Day 9Here's the interesting thing. Before yesterday, I believed I drink a pretty decent amount of water. After CHUGGING water like 6 times yesterday as if I am a 21-year-old downing cheap draft beer - I now realize that I am no where near where I should be with water intake! Seriously. I felt like I was re-living my old go-to-the-bar-on-Thursdays kind of drinking (only this time it was water!).  I ended up drinking about 112 ounces of water yesterday and my body felt great! But I really had to TRY to drink that much. I had to intentionally take long drinks to get all of that water in.I almost always carry a water bottle with me throughout the day. But apparently it is more like an accessory - because I am just taking sips throughout the day. I now know I am going to have to really tip it back to get all that water in!How did others do with water?

The Daily Reminder - Day 9: Physical Health + Water

Drinking water is an obvious need for our physical health, but perhaps not as often a focus. I do not believe I need to explain the reasons for why drinking water is important, but the amount of water that is recommended we drink appears to vary from 9 cups a day to 13.5 cups a day (72 oz to 108 oz).My goal is to drink 100 oz of water today. I realize that many fruits and vegetables have lots of water in them as well - which goes into that 100 oz - but I am going to challenge myself to get all 100 oz in (on top of fruits and veggies today).Happy drinking! (And peeing! lol)Recap from Day 8Okay y'all. Yesterday was harder than I really want to admit. It is clear that my body is addicted to sugar and my brain triggers habitual eating. These are not new revelations to me. I have been fighting these two things for some time now. And I will go a few weeks without sugar, but then fall right back into dessert after lunch AND dinner (eek). In addition to the little bites of this or that - all filled with sugar! UGH!I also found that several times yesterday I had to physically stop my hand from reaching for a handful of crackers as I plated my kids' food or a few chips as I made them a snack. One of the main roles I serve in my family is to take care of all things food related (i.e., cook, grocery shop, etc.). I love to cook. And I love to eat. And it has become a habit for me to walk into the kitchen and just grab a handful of whatever snack is laying out or closest in the pantry - none of which is great for my body. I have tried just about every trick in the book - keep a bowl of fruit out on the counter, put the junk food out of reach, etc. But guess what...if I am the one who is "hiding" the food higher on the shelf...guess who knows where it is!  lolPart of why I wanted to include physical health in this challenge is because I know it is a struggle for me and I have spent a lot of time talking with other women (and men) in therapy about their struggles, too.  Just know you aren't alone. photo cred pexels.com (snapwire)

The Daily Reminder - Day 8: Physical Health + Food

We've made it to our second week of focused goals!  This week's focus will be on our physical health.I want to fully disclose that I am not a personal trainer or dietitian. I am not a physician. I only want to share some simple ideas that could benefit all of us. I am hoping to make it focused enough that I can keep you accountable, but also flexible enough to capture each person's physical health/needs. Here goes!Today, my goal is for us to focus on limiting those foods that, in excess, are not good for us. So today, I challenge you to skip all dessert/treats, and try to limit your simple carbs (e.g., white bread, pasta, crackers, etc.). Make conscious decisions to eat more fruits, vegetables, and healthy proteins. In short, my goal is to be intentional about eating today - rather than just mindless shoving food in my mouth. :) Recap from Week 1 with my kidsAs I reflect back on my time each day with my kids, it is hard for me to choose just one thing that felt most impactful.  I know the play day was a really fun day with the kids and they really noticed the difference, but I also really appreciated how I felt when I was focused on giving them compliments about their character as well. I think the good news is that any of the 7 things we did over the past week could all be great options to continue because it seemed my kids loved all of them!Which day felt most impactful for your family?photo cred pexels.com (Pixabay)

The Daily Reminder - Day 7: Kids + Cuddles

The final day of our week of focusing on kids will focus on hugs and cuddles. And where I am today, the forecast looks dreary and perfect for cuddling!Today's focus is pretty straightforward.  Spend intentional time hugging and cuddling with our kids to let them know how much we love them.  Many of our kids especially love physical touch and today's focus will be just for them!My goal is to try to hug or cuddle as often as I can without it feeling smothering to them. I will continue throughout the day until they tell me they don't want cuddles anymore! I am actually interested to see which kid says something first.... :) Recap from Day 6I am a psychologist, so I have spent lots of time being trained in the skill of listening. But I realized yesterday that I sometimes "listen" while I am doing other things (like texting, or writing an email, or cooking) if my kids have a story to tell me. That's not really listening.That's more like hearing. My ears are hearing you and my brain is processing what you are saying, but I am not connecting with you.True listening = connection.What I found yesterday is that I need to pause to give the eye contact that tells them I am listening and interested in what they are saying. I am really thankful for that reminder while my kids are pre-teenagers - knowing they will naturally continue to rely more on their friends than their parents as they move into that stage.  If I can continue to practice that listening and connecting with eye contact, they will remember how much it means to me that they WANT to share things with me.How are folks doing? Still with me out there?photo cred pexels.com (rawpixel)

The Daily Reminder - Day 6: Kids + Listening

Just two more days of kid-focused goals. Today, the goal is about listening. The art of listening involves paying attention to what they are saying, how they are saying it, and frankly...what they aren't saying - to capture the entire message from our kids. But more importantly, we also need to focus on what their behavior is saying to us.Today, I will ask three thoughtful questions of each of my kids. Not just any question, but ones that I hope to get some thoughtful responses and then I will LISTEN.

I will stop what I am doing.

I will intentionally look and hear their words.

I will not interrupt them. I will not fix it. I will not offer my advice.

I will just listen.

And draw more information from them with encouraging words like, "That sounds cool, tell me more about that." or "Wow, I can't believe that. What else?" - just simple phrases that will let them know I am interested in hearing more and that I am listening.Here are a couple of examples of what I am thinking:

• "What makes you love gymnastics? basketball? cars?"
• "Where would you like to go on a trip? and why?"
• "What is your favorite thing we do as a family?"

Anyone else have ideas for great, thoughtful questions for your kids?Happy listening!Recap from Day 5It is such an amazing thing that I have felt great these last 5 days without my usual tendencies of trying to do it all, creating list after list. I hope this feeling continues for all 25 days remaining! For me, it has been so helpful to just have one thing to focus on, while also continuing to have balance with my job and other responsibilities. It seems like it just frees up the mental space so I can do the other things I need to do.Although this reflection isn't necessarily about the love letter, I found myself reflecting on: 1. I am on a 5-day streak!!  and 2. Prior to this, I was spending a lot of mental energy trying to do it all. I often told people that I made lots of lists because I had so many things going on in my head that I had to write it down so I wouldn't forget it.  It is so strange to feel so productive without the to-do list.Y'all - I am so proud of how everyone is doing. I have heard from many of you and can't wait to continue hearing from you about your progress to keep me motivated as well!Oh. And by the way. The love letters were great. I left them on my older kids' beds before they went up at the end of the night and I showed my younger two the pictures I drew for them when they woke up this morning. Smiles all around! LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.

The Daily Reminder - Day 5: Kids + Love letters

Have you ever had someone write you a love letter? Or frankly any kind of letter that simply shared how much you mean to them? As I think about my own life - those types of letters have been some of the most impactful things to how I feel about myself.In the current digital age, we are moving away from hand-written letters, but the act and art of writing a hand-written letter can hold so much meaning that I believe it should be our focus today.Our task today is to write ONE hand-written "love" letter (or picture if your child can't read yet) to each of your children. If your children don't live with you any longer, simply write it today and mail it to them. The only requirement is that it is hand-written. That part matters.Focus your letter or picture on what you love about your child and your life with them. Focus on their strengths. Focus on your dreams for them. Your prayers for them. Your hopes for them.  Write the date on it so they can come back to it years from now and know when it was written.And rather than just handing it to them, I encourage you to hide it in a place where they will find it. Like a surprise. A double surprise - you wrote them a letter AND they found it hidden somewhere!  We all love good surprises like that!Happy writing!!Recap from Day 4 (sorry - this is a long one!)As I reflect on becoming mindful of allowing my kids more "yes" in their lives, I am struck by a couple of things. First - my kids don't really ask for outlandish things. They don't ask to go on a vacation to the beach. They don't ask to go on a shopping spree in the toy isle.  If I summarize what my kids ask for most, it is: 1. Electronics (i.e., more time on a tablet, a certain show on television, a movie, etc.), 2. Food/treats (i.e., "Can I have a piece of candy?", "Can I have a donut?", "Can I have more peaches?"), and then 3. Things that they think are cool (and perhaps I don't think are cool).With these things in mind, the second thing that struck me was how quickly I tend to say "no" with really not a lot of good reasoning for doing so. For instance, when my 2-year-old asks, "Can I leave my shirt off when we go to bed?" (Because both of his older brothers sleep without a shirt). My initial reaction for a long time was just "no." And then it turned into, "No, you might be cold." or some other addition to "no."But if I really stop to think about what HE wanted, what was the worst thing that could have happened?? He would have gotten chilled in the middle of the night and learned to pull up his covers?BUT... what I realized he GAINS when I say "YES" to this simple request, is the joy of connecting more with his brothers, feeling more like them, and not feeling rejected by my "no" again. For the 10th time today. EEKSo as I think about my kids' typical requests and how to move forward, here's how I want to think about "yes" and "no" in my house:1. Electronics - Just about every parent I work with has the battle of electronics. We have a love/hate for them. Nearly every child has a LOVE for all things electronic. Nearly every parent fears they will create an electronic addiction in their child OR has conflicting ideas of how much electronics time is "appropriate" or "allowed" or "okay." My response is always to have more frequent short-spurts of time on electronics, rather than hours at a time. For instance, at 6:45am, my son asked for electronic time yesterday and I said, "Sure - but only 5 minutes right now and we can play more later." With a child's brain development, they tend to get locked-in to electronics. So if you let them get locked in for longer than 30 minutes or so, then it is harder to get them out of it. If you have a kid who has tolerated longer spurts with the electronic without issues, than 60 or 90 minutes at a time could be okay. But if you have troubles with getting them off of the electronic, try reducing the time frame and increasing the frequency of access.You can also find recommendations and resources from the American Academy of Pediatrics as well. In fact, I would encourage you to read this article and click through some of the resources they have listed. They have a Family Media Plan that I think is a really great option for parents of kids 7+ because it works like a family contract - where everyone has expectations about screen time, screen-free time, etc. When kids feel like parents also have the requirements of limiting screen time, they are more likely to have a better attitude about it!2. Food/treats - We are all highly motivated by food/treats. In fact, I believe we are a country that is obsessed with food (but that is probably for a different type of blog!). Regardless, typically, our kids receive treats when they are 1. potty training :) and 2. After they eat dinner without complaining.  As I think about the "yes, mom" day yesterday, when my kids ask for food (like string cheese or yogurt or granola bars), instead of the immediate "no", I tried to work within what I thought was appropriate. For instance, "Can I have a granola bar?" - when it was right before lunch time - "Sure, let's put that on your plate for lunch and I will have lunch ready in 15 minutes." Instead of... "No. We are eating lunch in 15 minutes."  The point for me is allowing them to have some additional control - particularly when they ask specifically - and letting go of control when things are not really a problem.3. Things that they think are cool (and perhaps I don't think are cool) - Our kids are still learning about the world. And their brains sometimes come up with extravagant things to try or do as they are learning about the world. For instance, "Can I eat my cereal with orange juice today, instead of milk?" or "Can I sleep on the floor instead of my bed today?" or "Can I buy this $5 game on my tablet with the money I earned?"  Now. How many of those things do YOU think are a good idea? For me, none. :)  BUT...for my kids - SUPER cool. And what reason do I really have to say no?? What opportunities to learn about the world are they missing because I am shutting down their ideas?As I move forward, I hope to continue to be mindful of these things to help my kids learn and feel more empowered and connected to me. I hope you may find the same as well!photo cred pexels.com (Kaboompics.com)

The Daily Reminder - Day 4: Kids + "Yes, mom"

You remember that movie, Yes, Man?   From 2008, with Jim Carrey.  Where Jim Carrey's character lives in a place of fear and control for the beginning of the movie and then is magically required to say YES! to any request. ANY request. Although initially saying "yes" to everything was a challenge for the character in the movie, by the end, he found that he was given a multitude of opportunities that were great things for his life - many of which he would have unlikely experienced without saying YES.I think of that movie often. In fact, most times when my kids request something and I say "no", I take a split second to think about what potential opportunity we may be missing out on because I didn't say "YES!" (Note: this does NOT mean I say yes to everything! In fact...I say "no" a lot. I am merely mentioning that I take that split second to pause because I do believe fear and control keep us from experiencing lots of things - and I want to try to avoid parenting out of fear or control.)Today, I will focus on saying "YES!" on everything I would have said "no" to previously. I will be a "Yes, mom" today!PS - if you live locally and see my kids - DO NOT tell them! lol  My kids are smart enough to ask to go to Disney World or something crazy!Recap from Day 3 I am not sure I got my 10 compliments in for each child today. After a 12-hour day at work, I didn't see them until late this evening and I think I got a solid 5 compliments in for each child. I also tried to give all of my attention to my kids for the 2 hours that I saw them today, rather than being preoccupied with other things around the house. I think they noticed I was more attentive, and I found myself making more intentional decisions to give them more of my attention.That being said, I suppose I didn't meet my goal, but I still succeeded in being more intentional - which is still a step in the right direction!Anyone else noticing anything good? 

The Daily Reminder - Day 3: Kids + Compliments

At the heart of making words matter for good is using our words to lift other people up. To lift our kids up and brighten their day. To build their self-esteem, knowing how much we value them.Today, my focus will be on giving compliments to my kids. I want to really focus on complimenting their character, but also on how hard they are working. Some of our kids work really hard to be within our good graces. Trying to always do the right thing, while also having fun can be a hard balance for some kids. And truthfully, just following the many instructions I have for them is worthy of a compliment!

• "Thanks for eating your food without complaining."
• "Thanks for helping your brother get into his chair."
• "Great job making your own breakfast."
• "I love how hard you work at practice."
• "You do such a great job of playing with your sister."
• "I am so proud of how you got dressed all by yourself today."
• "You look so beautiful in that shirt."
• "I can tell how hard you are working to keep from yelling at your brother." (HAHA)

My goal is to intentionally give at least 10 compliments to each child today. (I have a 12-hour day at work today, so I only have 2.5 hours to get in that many compliments. Wish me luck!!) Recap from Day 2I wasn't sure how it was going to go yesterday. It didn't start out well because I had to work half the day and then felt myself falling into task-mode. But I caught myself and got focused shortly after lunch. I went out and started shooting hoops on our little basketball rim (where my 9-year-old often plays). And he came out saying..."Hey. When have you ever played on this rim??" :)We played for about 10 minutes and then I went to play with my other son who was playing marbles on the floor. My 9-year-old walked past and said, "Now you're playing with Adrian?? You're really getting into this playing today."  HAHA! Seriously?? I promise he said that! And I promise I didn't tell him I was focused on playing today!As I reflect on how the day went, I really did not devote a lot of TIME to playing. 10 minutes here. 5 minutes there. 30 minutes at the park at the end of the day. Staying focused on each child and drawing them in to play. And you know what.... I still got everything done that I needed to get done today. I wasn't stressed. I didn't miss out on my to-do list. I just had fun trying to be present when I was playing.It made me stop to think, why can't I do that everyday?!? It really wasn't hard at all.  And frankly, what do I believe is so much more important than that? At the end of the day, I realized that I waste a lot of time doing things that matter a whole lot less than playing (like Facebook, scrolling my phone, incessantly checking my email, UGH!). And with a little reminder yesterday, I was able to learn how unimportant those things really are.Thanks for joining me in this adventure! Can't wait to hear how y'all are doing!photo cred pixabay (blur-chair-cheerful-160739)

The Daily Reminder - Day 2: Kids + Play

Let me be honest about something. Right now, I am not great at playing.I used to be GREAT at playing. And then somewhere along the line, I stopped being good at it. I started being too busy, too tired, too annoyed. EEK.It isn't that my body isn't physically capable of playing. I am blessed to have a pretty decent body who can keep up with 4 kids (most of the time - keep in mind...NO ONE is keeping up with my 9-year-old - he literally has energy for days!!). It is just that I am too lazy or believe I will become too "stressed" if I don't finish whatever task I have in front of me. Remember that to-do list?? Guess how often "play with kids" was on that list?Um. Never. (#notgoingtofeelshame)And remember how often I said I would actually complete my daily to-do list?Again. Um. Never. (#eventhoughIneversitdown)Here's the truth in my life and maybe in your life: There will never be enough time to complete everything I could get done around the house or with my work. But there will come a day when my kids won't want to play with me - and I am missing it! So today, I will focus on that.If they seek me out to play, I will play. If they don't seek me out, I will find a way to seek them out to engage in something fun with them.(For those of you with older kids: You can still "play". It may mean playing a video game or two. It may mean shooting hoops or soccer. It may mean learning to play that guitar (or trying!). The point to "play" is: 1. To have fun! and 2. To let it be about them. See what you can do!)RECAP from Day 1How did everyone do with Day 1?? How was it to really "see" your kids?  This was an interesting thing for me because, as a psychologist who specializes in working with kids, I felt like I had a pretty good handle on my kids' personalities, strengths and weaknesses. And although I still think some of those things are true, I started to notice those things that would drive me crazy about my kids began to make a little more sense. Since I was not so wrapped up in all the things I needed to get done, I was able to see the context and what was really at the heart of what they were trying to communicate.And guess what...?? I got a lot of stuff done too! Grading, emails, planning... Even without a to-do list... :)It's amazing what a little perspective shift can do. At lunch, I was reflecting with my boys about how it was "a great morning", and at the end of the day, my son said to me, "Mom, this was a great day."I know everyday of this experiment won't work out this way, but gosh darn...I'll take this win! photo cred - Suzy Hazelwood (pexels.com)

The Daily Reminder - Day 1: Kids + Honor

Side note: I woke up early today (about 45 minutes earlier than I know my kids normally get up) so I could get myself organized for the day - including writing this! - and I forget how beautiful the quiet is. As I type, I hear the quiet noises of our house and the world outside and it really is amazing how much peace comes in the early morning stillness.For day 1, I plan to take intentional time to honor each of my kids. I want to really SEE them. See them for where they are developmentally. See them for what is important to them right now. See them as they smile and laugh and cry.This may seem simple, but as I reflect on the busiest (and sometimes not even on the busiest) days, I find that I sometimes can become laser-focused on the other things to do around the house and in my job that I forget to take that intentional time to 'see' them. Today, that will change.Today, I will honor my children for who they are right now.I invite you to join me!